It’s Monday. A new day, a new week and for some of us a new start. Having to let go of things we love really sucks. There is no other way to put it. Even so, I woke up this morning and told myself that I’m not too old. I believe that. I told myself that I can do whatever I truly believe I can. I believe that too. I told myself that I have to let go of the past. I do believe that, but the problem is I really don’t want to. Letting go of things that matter is never easy and feels like your heart is being ripped into a million little pieces and every little piece hurts as much as the whole. The logical, reasonable part of my brain tells me that I have to keep going and move forward and that I have to let go. I don’t want to let go. I want to keep the good memories and make more of them. Letting go feels like I don’t care even though I know that’s the same reason it hurts so much.
I have to let go. I have to put on my big girl panties and make the decision that today I will be better than I was yesterday. I can look back on life with regret for the things that went wrong or I can look back on everything that went right. I can drown myself in the mistakes I made because I can’t fix them or I can learn from them so I don’t make them again. I can let the pain of letting go keep me from moving forward or I can let the pain of letting go push me harder.
I don’t want to wake up tomorrow with new regrets so I will move forward and I will make the choices that will get me where I want to go. I will say thank you for the amazing journey and for helping me see that I am strong enough and smart enough and brave enough.